Wednesday, July 8, 2009

I wonder, if you are Loansome

Hellos, I’m the loan you have so far envied and hoped to possess. Just like any other prank that the finance guys play on others, I too am designed to bring misery to those for whom I am made.

But, to possess me is a tougher task than dating the hottest chick in an engineering college. While some might disagree to this, but the fact remains that while she might come to you after 6 semesters of pampering and following around, I sometimes take more than that to cross the very first barrier.

On the exterior I look very charming and innocuous, luring and enticing anyone who sets an eye on me, promising to be as loyal as an ancient wife. But they warn you to think twice before you fall in for me, coz what follows is a back breaking relationship with the ill side of fate.

To get to me you have to first fill in a form as there are more suitors for one such loan. Remember how it was in your college, yeah its only worse here.  Coming to the form, though it looks friendly initially, but once you cross the Personal Details column, rest is all Gothic literature in hazy calligraphy thats illegible and repetitive to the core.

So while filling the form is just a curtain raiser to what will follow, don't be already dejected 'coz now you are already in a situation where you can neither put your second leg in, nor pull your first leg out of the quagmire.

Next you will have to submit piles of documents, which will effectively exceed in numbers those photo copies you carried to the canteen a night before any end semester exam, and needless to mention, never opened. And just like those photo copies, most of the documents you submit will never be reused, re referred or even re opened, but you better give them, otherwise you give the bank one more reason to not let you have me.

Now comes the oath taking part, like any hindu marriage you need to ceremoniously swear upon something, with a difference though. The priest might accept your oath verbally, but the bank won't. You will have to show them on paper more than what you ask for. Effectively, to get me you might just have to prove that you don’t need me. So eventually I go to the one who needs it the least, and this they call risk management.

All said and done, now I'm yours, while you think that the tough part is over, take a deep breath 'coz its now that you have to repay and keep doing that till we have a divorce.
So for all who think I make life easier, think thrice, 'coz I am a slow poison which kills you softly.

With all my love.
Anny Loan.

5 comments:

Butterfly Effects said...

Haha hilarious & a nice take on the loansome situation. Enjoyable & reminded me of those autobiographies of pen & watch read ages ago

Chiranjive said...

Real fun to read, and clearly depicts the pain one undergoes getting loansome. One of the best autobiography till date!

Nishit said...

Humm....
Slow Poison.....i want to be loansome soon...i just hope my "chic" is 'easier" than yours...by then you would have spent time with your precious....your memoirs will bring in crucial insights.....
Good Luck mate....and should i say "congratulations" ..... :]

Satya said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Satya said...

Good analogy :) and wel written!!! fun reading!!