Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Can I have the time please!

They say Time is the most valuable moving asset that you can possess. Those who respect time generally get more respect than they otherwise deserve. There are nice Swiss watches that keep you abreast with the time and those of us who cannot afford such a luxury, struggle to get the time. Well, when in trouble, there are a lot of ways to know what time it is, I list a few of them, I m sure you can come up with more so that the world is always up to it, when required.

1) If you are using a windows based laptop machine, look to the right bottom of your screen now. You will see the time.

2) Call up a friend working in an IT firm, ask him "dude, kya time hai" he would say "bahaut bura", and add "buddy, I have a deadline to meet at half past one, have only got 30 minutes to finish, talk to you later bye" and lo, you have the time.

3) Call up another friend who trades in stocks, ask him, "dude, how is it going", he would sulk for half an hour, talk at length about how his earnings have plummeted overnight and how now he was hoping for the monsoons to brighten up the sky. and he would end the conversation at, hey hold on, they are about to announce the budget in an hour at 1, I'll head back to it. There again, you get the time. but ofcourse its tiring to talk to stock brokers.

4)

#include

#include


#define BUFSIZE 128

main()
{
time_t tval;
struct tm *now;
char buf[BUFSIZE];
char *fancy_format =
"Or getting really fancy:\n"
"%A, %B %d, day %j of %Y.\n"
"The time is %I:%M %p.";

/* Get current date and time */
tval = time(NULL);
now = localtime(&tval);
printf("The current date and time:\n"
"%d/%02d/%02d %d:%02d:%02d\n\n",
now->tm_mon+1, now->tm_mday, now->tm_year,
now->tm_hour, now->tm_min, now->tm_sec);
printf("Or in default system format:\n%s\n",
ctime(&tval));
strftime(buf,sizeof buf,fancy_format,now);
puts(buf);

return 0;
}


If you are somewhat geeky, copy paste this code in your Turbo C++ compiler and you might get the time in various formats.

5) Ofcourse, everyone isn't as geeky as the author of the above code snippet, but still if you insist that you get the time as a display, 'coz calling up friends hasn't really worked... then start writing a blog, write the first word "bullshit" and wait for blogger to do the rest, soon catch it when it shows.. draft auto saved at 1:00 PM ... there you have the time again.

6)

OK... enough giving inane suggestion... The next step assumes that you have a facebook account.
Now set a status msg , "what time is it?"
chances are that your friends will respond, coz either they will have an inexpensive watch or ample time.. but that's not what I'm suggesting, I want you to return to that page same time next day... now it will show... posted "Yesterday at 1:53pm " .. now you'll know what time it was yesterday, when you were looking for it everywhere.


bullshit...


Having read so far, you realize as much as I do, that you really don't need to know the time.. or do you .. and neither do I ;)

3 comments:

Butterfly Effects said...

Kudos! This post shows some serious effort in bullshitting :P

crazy photon said...

Sheer genius! This is a work of art, or something.

Rohini said...

There is method in this lunacy!!
what were you upto by the way?